Habit+5+-+Seek+First+to+Understand,+Then+to+be+Understood

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** Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood **

Â· Listen to others peopleâ€™s ideas and feelings Â· Try to see things from their viewpoints Â· Listen without interrupting Â· Be confident in voicing my ideas Â· Look people in the eyes when talking Â· Smile!

#|view4th & 5th grade and Mrs. White's overview of Habit 5 click on the link below which will show a Prezi. Let it load, then click the arrow pointing to the right several times and you will view a kind of power point.

** Katie - This reminds me of the old saying, "We have two ears and one mouth. That's why we sould listen twice as much as we talk." There is a reason to listen! ï»¿ **
ï»¿Jacqui - Great Prezi!! I usually find I get myself in the most trouble when I don't take the time to listen - or I interpret what is being said before it is said. Katie has it right, we should listen twice as much as we talk.

ï»¿Katie - Great prezi girls!!

===**//Glenda and Mrs. White-Ya'll are right on target. We should listen more, but usually my mouth goes into motion before my brain has had time to decipher what I heard. As Katie says, "My alligator mouth takes over my jaybird behind!" Ha!//** ===

Michelle - putting the shoe on the other foot is easier said than done - and I also find that sometimes we (I) take things personally when I shouldn't....we are a team!
Carol - I often tell my students that we are blessed. God gave us one mouth and two ears. He intends for us to listen twice as much as we talk. If we practice that, then we tend to stay out of so much trouble. We think before we speak and apply what we hear.

Zeda- I agree totally with Carol. God gave us one mouth and two ears. I fully believe that he intends for us to listen twice as much as we talk. I have learned this lesson the hard way in the past and try my best to practice it in daily life now.

Lisa Nordan- This section made me want to find more quotes about the importance of listening. I thought I would share a few with the group.
[|Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.]â€ || |||| Su[|Sue Patton Thoele quotes] e Patton Thoele quotes So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it. Jiddu Krishnamurti quotes (Indian Theosophist Philosopher, wrote The Future of Humanity, Songs of Life, Kingdom Happiness. 1895-1986)

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering. Winnie the Pooh quotes

A good listener is a silent flatterer. Proverb quotes ===

Whitlock- I love this!!! To me this basically means HEAR what people have to say then react from what you hear. As an individual I don't always have to be the first to speak and voice an opinion. I don't have to be the loudest either. Listen and learn then voice your point of view. I feel that within relationships among the children there are problems because the students just don't know how to communicate. There can be a lot of "he said-she said" which is never a good situation. Let's hear everyone's point of view. Most importantly there doesn't have to only be one solution. Multiple solutions can work, sometimes we just need to get the chance to listen. When I think back to my own personal relationships....I've had to let a lot of really nice girls go because they never wanted to hear a viewpoint other than their own. I'm real big on....we can both be right!!! LOL

//Tonya "Mrs. Incredible" Harris// ** Well,folks. This is my stumbling block. ** ** Most of us are so focused on what we want to say that we miss most of what the other person is trying to communicate. We just wait for them to take a breath so we can jump in with our own comments. ** ** To improve on my shortcoming, I have come up with the following advice via the Internet: ** ** *Understand with whom I am talking ** ** *When I am speaking to someone, take care to focus on not only what he or she is saying but their point of view as well. **
 * Stop talking.
 * Ask open-ended questions.
 * Allow enough opportunity for other people to explain themselves fully and then provide feedback to them as to what I understand they are communicating.

Linda -Hey, Tonya you are so right I'm focusing on what I want to say instead of listening to what others are saying. I have notice the students do that as well. Maybe we as students and teachers need to slow down and smell the roses instead of being in such a hurry

David Lewis Communication is the most important skill in life. If you want to interact effectively with me, to influence me, you first need to ﻿understand me. You have to build the skills of empathic listening on a base of character that inspires openness and trust.

Gibson, P. Being open and willing to listen often takes time and time isn't something we always have a load of, but I try to make time for anyone who wants to talk. Not to long ago, a student came to me and said, "Mrs. Gibson, Why don't you smile anymore, and have that excitement when you teach us a lesson?" I had a lump in my throat when she asked me this because I had just went through the most devastating thing in my life (losing my husband). I didn't realize how my sadness was effecting their lives as well. I simply stated that I would try to smile more often because they were one of the main reasons that I got up in the mornings. The way that we speak to others, the way we treat others, and our body language are all important tools when making a person feel needed and loved.

Somar Ramos Okay here is one that truly applies to me, I have to take time to listen because I am still learning English and sometimes I have to listen to a question more than once in order to understand what is being asked of me or said to me. With that same token it usually takes me a couple of times of trying to get my point across to those that i am speaking to because my SPANGLISH is a litttle rough aroung the edges. Taking time to listen shows the subject that I am truly interested in their views and usually these actions will reciprocrate back to you if are sincere. (Forgive me my spelling is a skill in the developing stages)!

Demorrius Manuel- To me this concept sounds easier than it actually proves to be. I kinda tend to think if you seem to know, I should be listening to you. If I seem to know, you should be listening to me. Lets just say I could become a better listener. Really its not that I mind listening, its just that I often dont want to to take time to listen to anything that I dont find particlarly relevant to me at that time. I need to do better!

Gladys, Regina, and Kim We love these comments!! The way you respond to another person makes a big difference. Sometimes you may have a good point or be totally right, but if you present your idea or opinion with a negative attitude, it will cause a person to tune you out!!!!! Mrs. Gibson is right. Your tone of voice, the way you treat others, and your body language can have a HUGE effect on someone else whether you want them to or not. Gladays Pascley always tells her students that the truth is in the eyes. If a person can not make eye contact with you, they are probably not telling the truth.

Denise: There is a time to listen and there is a time to speak your peace. But, it all boils down to good manners and respect for others' opinions whether you agree or not. I agree with Mrs. Gibson in that how you listen and speak to others makes a difference in how the situation develops.

Sandra - This concept sounds like an easy one - however, when you are suppose to listen until others are finished, and you feel the need to correct them, it's harder than it sounds. I do not mean to sound harsh or be disrespectful when I do 'cut in', my intention is to provide the correct information. I know this can be perceived as disrespectful and that's something I must work on.


 * Emily Martin- Ok, so this habit really stepped on my toes. I am sure you would agree with me that I LOVE to talk! HA! HA! The older I get, I realize the importance of seeking first to understand, rather than seeking to be understood. I try (and need to do a better job) to listen to others, look them in the eye when they are talking, and see their point of view without interrupting them and voicing my own ideas. This habit is one I need to read and recite every day... **
 * Priscilla-GREAT JOB ON THE PREZI!!!!!!!! I always teach my students at school and my children at home that we should always "Think Before Speaking." This gives us the opportunity to listen to other people's ideas & feelings, listen without interrupting, look people in the eyes when they are talking, and SMILE. I think that a genuine smile can bring out the best in anyone. We, as educators must learn how to listen and respect the viewpoints and feelings of others. Mrs. Gibson your comments were truly touching. We need to realize that we can truly effect others with our attitude and behavior. **

Pam Mc., Bobbie Mac., & Charity - We have found when people realize one is genuinely trying to listen and understand them, they become more willing to make an effort to understand who you are and what you believe in.

Willie-I think communication is the most important skill in life.If you're like most people,you probably seek first to be understood;you want to get your point across.

Gwen, Patti, and Teresa We really liked this one, because our reading series covers speaking and listening skills each week. We teach the students the importance of looking someone in the eyes when speaking and being attentive when others are speaking. Becky G. - Habit 5 is a difficult one for children and adults! But I believe it is the most important one!

Liz - In order for us to understand the ideas, feelings, and viewpoints of others, we need to be able to listen with open hearts and open minds. We need to look at a situation from all directions.


 * Shelia - Ok, my mouth will get me in trouble....as will all who speak without thinking. Feelings get hurt, things get out of hand with just one word of miscommunication. Our pink tornado (our tongues) will say things that can never be retracted....even with utmost apologies. I try to teach my child to think before speaking...as I try the same with my students. Learning to get along is a learned trait through modeling. **

Pam Moody - Emily, my toes are also hurting. I think we are just confident in voicing our ideas. I like this habit because sometimes people do not always want to be right, they just want to be heard. Sheila, I agree with you.